Much to the chagrin to all St. Louisans, the Cardinals have won the 2006 World Series and baseball is over for the year!!! There is one exception, my 4 year old nephew.
Harlyn, Jr: Hey buddy, we won!!! The CARDINALS just won!!!!
Nephew: We won? Yeah. We won!
Harlyn, Jr: We won the World Series!!!
Nephew: Yeah, daddy! When do we play next?
Harlyn, Jr: The Cardinals beat everyone. They beat all the teams.
Nephew: All the teams? so who do they play next?
Harlyn, Jr: No one. They start again next year.
Nephew (thinking for a minute): So, when are we going to watch the Cards play next, Daddy? Tomorrow?
10.31.2006
9.15.2006
Parallel Parking 101
Dad walks in at midnight. Meaghan with her hot off the press driver's license is sitting on the couch.
Meags: Hi Daddy.
Dad (Slightly under the influence): Go park the car for me, please.
Meaghan walks outside to find the car in the middle of our one lane very crowded bumper to bumper parked street. She diligently parallel parks the car for the first time ever on the left side of the street and proudly walks back into the house.
Dad: Hey Meaghan, Steak-n-Shake sure sounds good. Why don't we go to Steak-n-Shake...you can drive.
Dad stumbles down the porch stairs. Meags happy to be driving so much with her newly minted license escorts Dad through the Drive-thru at Steak-n-Shake. As they pull back in front of the house, Dad pops back out of the car and leaves Meags with instructions to park it. He walks in to start eating while Meaghan tries to figure it all out again (on the left side of the street).
Meags: Hi Daddy.
Dad (Slightly under the influence): Go park the car for me, please.
Meaghan walks outside to find the car in the middle of our one lane very crowded bumper to bumper parked street. She diligently parallel parks the car for the first time ever on the left side of the street and proudly walks back into the house.
Dad: Hey Meaghan, Steak-n-Shake sure sounds good. Why don't we go to Steak-n-Shake...you can drive.
Dad stumbles down the porch stairs. Meags happy to be driving so much with her newly minted license escorts Dad through the Drive-thru at Steak-n-Shake. As they pull back in front of the house, Dad pops back out of the car and leaves Meags with instructions to park it. He walks in to start eating while Meaghan tries to figure it all out again (on the left side of the street).
8.14.2006
Some never learn
My brother, Harlyn, and I are about 2.5 years apart and probably not the closest 2 siblings in my family, but I do owe him several thanks for all the hook-ups in my early 20s (and maybe even late teens).
Harlyn would often "sneak" to parties with his friend, James. I'm not sure if it is called sneaking if you get caught every night, but either way. Harlyn would get in late at night and part of check-in and getting down to our bedrooms is walking past our parents' room and turning off the hall bathroom light. Harlyn not always thinking that if the light behind you is on, then Mom and Dad could often see whether or not you were carrying something, like a case of beer.
Dad would often wake Harlyn up early the next morning for some reason or another (and our parents always had reasons when we were out late to make sure we had to be up at the crack of dawn). Then, after Harlyn would leave the house, Dad would walk down to his room and find my brother's leftovers from partying the night before. If it was something he liked, Dad kept it, if not, he called me up to come pick it up. I usually ended up with a case or two a week. Thanks, Harlyn!
The funny part is: Dad never confronted Harlyn on the above; and Harlyn never questioned anyone where all his alcohol kept disappearing to.
Harlyn would often "sneak" to parties with his friend, James. I'm not sure if it is called sneaking if you get caught every night, but either way. Harlyn would get in late at night and part of check-in and getting down to our bedrooms is walking past our parents' room and turning off the hall bathroom light. Harlyn not always thinking that if the light behind you is on, then Mom and Dad could often see whether or not you were carrying something, like a case of beer.
Dad would often wake Harlyn up early the next morning for some reason or another (and our parents always had reasons when we were out late to make sure we had to be up at the crack of dawn). Then, after Harlyn would leave the house, Dad would walk down to his room and find my brother's leftovers from partying the night before. If it was something he liked, Dad kept it, if not, he called me up to come pick it up. I usually ended up with a case or two a week. Thanks, Harlyn!
The funny part is: Dad never confronted Harlyn on the above; and Harlyn never questioned anyone where all his alcohol kept disappearing to.
One's not enough
I grew up with 2 parents that hardly ever drank. In my late teen years, the two of them started growing up and learning to drink again with me. Dad still calls my sister and me up and asks us what was that drink he tried and how does he make it? Nothing like the children being the bad influences on the parents.
Anyways, the point of the story...rewind several years to my ex-sister-in-law's wedding reception. Everyone is dancing, partying, and having a good old time. As I am working the room, I notice my dad is off in the back corner by himself just sitting there staring at his drink. Being the concerned daughter that I am, I work my way over to him and sit in his lap.
"Hi Heather." He says with a big drunken smile.
"Hey Pops, What's up?" I ask as he looks back at his almost empty Eiffel tower martini glass.
"Sheeeeiiilllllla," he slurs. "Did I ever tell you that Manhattans are like a woman's breasts? One is not enough, three is too many...
"and I've had seven."
Dad and his lucky sevens, after just returning from Vegas, what else can I say?
Anyways, the point of the story...rewind several years to my ex-sister-in-law's wedding reception. Everyone is dancing, partying, and having a good old time. As I am working the room, I notice my dad is off in the back corner by himself just sitting there staring at his drink. Being the concerned daughter that I am, I work my way over to him and sit in his lap.
"Hi Heather." He says with a big drunken smile.
"Hey Pops, What's up?" I ask as he looks back at his almost empty Eiffel tower martini glass.
"Sheeeeiiilllllla," he slurs. "Did I ever tell you that Manhattans are like a woman's breasts? One is not enough, three is too many...
"and I've had seven."
Dad and his lucky sevens, after just returning from Vegas, what else can I say?
Opossum Logic
This is why I love my Dad.
My sister was taking the trash out at her house and when she lifted the lid off the can she noticed a litter of baby opossums in the bottom of it. She didn't know what to do so she called my dad and the dialogue went a little something like this:
Meags: Daddy, there are baby opossums in my trash can, what should I do?
Dad: Give them water, they're thirsty.
Meags: Really? How do you know they are thirsty?
Dad: Fill the trash can all the way up with water and put the lid back on.
Meags: DADDY!
Dad: Well, what do you want to do? Let them loose and run them over another time with your car instead?
My sister was taking the trash out at her house and when she lifted the lid off the can she noticed a litter of baby opossums in the bottom of it. She didn't know what to do so she called my dad and the dialogue went a little something like this:
Meags: Daddy, there are baby opossums in my trash can, what should I do?
Dad: Give them water, they're thirsty.
Meags: Really? How do you know they are thirsty?
Dad: Fill the trash can all the way up with water and put the lid back on.
Meags: DADDY!
Dad: Well, what do you want to do? Let them loose and run them over another time with your car instead?
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